February 2012
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I was cruising Facebook and found a picture of a...
You guys.
I stared at that picture for a full five minutes and silently patted myself on the back the WHOLE TIME BECAUSE GODDAMN.
WELL DONE, ME.
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“These Few Presidents” - WHY?
I...
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Anonymous asked: Been following your blog for a while now and I was curious about a few things. Who are some of your personal influences for things like education, relationships, and humor?
Re: Apartment Hunting
Hipster 1: Craigslist is a played out piece of shit. I mean, it's played out.
Hipster 2: Yeah? What's NOT played out?
Hipster 1: Walking around. Calling your friends. Texting your friends.
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“I’m not here to judge you…to your face. I’ll wait until you...”
– Me, to one of my regulars.
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“Set Fire” - Blue Sky Black Death
...
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14 Nice Things You Can Do For A Lady That Are Not... →
The guys (and girls) at So You Have A Girlfriend (Dot Com) are pretty goddamned smart sometimes.
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Current Super-Glamorous Topic Of Conversation:
Using one’s sleeve to blow one’s nose when doing strenuous outdoor activities (i.e.: running, dog walking, horseback riding, etc)
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“From Fur City” - Cat Power
You were...
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SKULL & CROSSBONES NAIL POLISH STICKER THINGIES! →
Want. Want. Want. Want. Want.
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Sad But True:
Whenever I date someone I deem to be “unfairly good-looking” I always have this moment of dread that’s like:
“Oh dear lord, I am not pretty enough for this boy.”
Or:
“Shit. What if he learns how incredibly boring I actually am? I sit around and update my stupid tumblr and make playlists and walk my dog when I’m not at work and THAT’S KIND OF...
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kmnml replied to your audio post: “She Drives Me Crazy” - Fine Young Cannibals The…
you are posting some AMAZING tunes lately and I’m not being ironic at all. this is my jam, etc.
My sister and I used to dance around the house to this in our stirrup pants and oversized puffy-paint sweatshirts when we were super little.
This song will never NOT be my jam. :)
“She Drives Me Crazy” - Fine Young...
“Think, now: if you have found a dead bird,
not only dead, not only fallen,
but...”
– Advice to a Discarded Lover, Fleur Adcock (via corcordium)
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“Gimme The Car” - The Violent Femmes
...
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If you come to my bar and order any of the...
Smirnoff Ice
Mike’s Hard Whatevers
any other malt beverage
Long Island Iced Tea
Tequila Sunrise
Also, I will hate you.
Similarly, if you order a Cosmo and request that it “not be so strong” I will visibly fight the urge to beat you to death with your own shoes because a Cosmo - LIKE ALL OTHER MARTINIS - IS A BIG GLASS OF BOOZE.
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#axeforherscents
Pomegranate Martini
Katherine Heigl
Applebees
Jager
Confused By Geek Squad
Yoplait
I’m DRUUUUUNK! LOL!
Pinterest
Lean Cuisine
I Only Smoke When I Drink
Daddy Issues
Frat House Sleepover
Regret
Sex & The City Box Set
Spray Tan
Mimosas!
Bi-Curious
WHO IS THAT WHORE?
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Pork: The Surprise Remedy for Nosebleeds →
“Cured salted pork crafted as a nasal tampon and packed within the nasal vaults successfully stopped nasal hemorrhage promptly, effectively, and without sequelae …”
Re: Games
Emily: Want to come over and play Wine?
Stacey: YES.
Emily: It's a fun game. Everyone wins.
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End of days...
Trader Joe’s makes individually wrapped servings of fresh, perfect mozzarella cheese.
I don’t know if this is a new thing or if it’s been there and I just haven’t noticed it or WHAT. But damn. Any “eat healthy” or “go to the gym” plans have been thwarted by perfect, single servings of cheese that I cannot stop eating because they are perfect.
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“I’ve Got My Mind Set On You” -...
Anonymous asked: You've got like a really awesome face. I like your face a lot. Of all the faces I've ever seen yours is way up there.
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“I really really like our mornings.”
– A booooooy.
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Watch“Paper Thin Hotel” - Greg Dulli (orig. by Leonard Cohen)
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It's 3:30am CST and instead of sleeping, I'm...
January 2012
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“Oh! You Pretty Things” - David Bowie
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Soft Mornings
My ideal mornings are never the type where I wake up when the sun comes up, and drink a cup of coffee while I read the paper and maybe go for a quick run to jumpstart my day and complete my epic to-do list.
My mornings are slower. Softer. I might wake up with my alarm, but I will probably hit “snooze” a few times. I prefer to wake up slowly with someone next to me - over a period of...
“Love Song For A Schubas Bartender” -...
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“That guy with the glasses who stalks you on Saturday nights is here again.”
– My coworker Cassie, re: my favorite favorite regular who is NOT stalking me