April 2012
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NYAN WAITS →
It’s exactly what you think it is. Only better.
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“Men don’t take the time to end things. They ignore you—until you insist on a...”
– Joan Harris, Mad Men — Episode 507 (via annaetc)
(Joanie Harris - preaching the goddamned truth.)
Can we talk about how "Possum Kingdom" by The...
Because whoa. It’s pretty rapey.
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Also, someone found my tumblr by googling "buttsex...
Gross.
Grooooooooooooooss.
I have this body wash that is called “Make Mine A Margarita!” or somesuch stupid name.
It doesn’t smell like a margarita at all.
It smells like orange crush.
Which means that yours truly now also smells like orange crush.
I’m not saying that this is a bad thing, I’m just saying that maybe they should rethink the name of their product and have be called something...
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“Scandal” - Blue Sky Black Death
...
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“This is bullshit! How long have we been waiting for me to be urban? I’m...”
– Andrea
(My friend Andrea and I have known each other since we were six and homegirl has FINALLY moved to the city from the burbs. And of course, I am too hungover to leave my bed/house/pajamas to go out drinking with her.)
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I CAN STILL RIDE EFFECTIVELY. AND JUMP.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
This is something that is so so so gratifying to me, y’all don’t understand. It’s a very cool thing, as someone who is generally pretty tiny, to get a horse to basically bend to your will by only using your hands and your legs and your butt.
Because more often than not, the horse is like, “Fuck yourself.”
But if you’re...
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“Tigress” - Songs: Ohia
I believe...
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“Okay, I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun...
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alwaysbleeding answered your question: HOLY FUCK I WAS HOME FROM WORK BEFORE 11:00 PM.
Smear jelly on their tits. Or someone’s tits. And maybe not jelly, but something. What was the question again?
Things I do not miss about living with you:
your late night tit-jelly smearing sessions
That shit was messy, okay? I mean, YES, the home cooked meals were good. And YES the late night...
HOLY FUCK I WAS HOME FROM WORK BEFORE 11:00 PM.
I don’t even know what to DO with myself.
What the hell do normal people do at like, midnight?
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“Sounds like you’re doing great! Even your texts sound happy!”
– James
(James and I met over New Year’s and spent a few days running around the city, inhaling coffee, and kissing on the mouth, and then he had to hop back to LA to work on some TV show because I guess everyone in LA works on a TV show or something? Anyway, we’ve kept in touch since,...
Can we talk about how the salad I just had was so...
Mixed greens
Goat cheese
BEETS
Red onion
Grilled chicken
Sunflower seeds
Lemon/Shallot vinaigrette
You guys. I am so full/happy right now.
Also, BEETS. Why have I forgotten about beets for such a long time?
(Answer: Because I’ve been stupid. And also, I’ve been drunk. Womp womp.)
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“International Small Arms Traffic...
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“You are the abortion clinic of dart throwing.”
– Some dude at my bar, to his friend, just now.
chrysalism
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm, listening to waves of rain pattering against the roof like an argument upstairs, whose muffled words are unintelligible but whose crackling release of built-up tension you understand perfectly.
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“I remember your collarbone, forming the tiniest
satellite dish in the universe,...”
– “Letter To The Woman Who Stopped Writing Me Back” - Jeffrey McDaniel
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Re: "That Look"
Stacey: So who was that?
Sandra: That was Matt - he's [our boss]'s best friend.
Stacey: I don't think I've ever met him before.
Sandra: Don't even think about it.
Stacey: What?
Sandra: He's MARRIED.
Stacey: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
Sandra: I know you. I know that look you get when you think someone's good looking.
Stacey: YOU DO NOT.
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nebraskagasm replied to your post: Sometimes you need to eat a ridiculous 5-part meal at The Bristol and then go home, and put on a button-down that used to belong to one of your exboyfriends and then listen to Meat Loaf as loud as you can until the food coma passes.
I love meatloaf of all kinds.
As well you should.
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“Objects In The Rear View Mirror May Appear...
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Sometimes you need to eat a ridiculous 5-part meal...
(We ate: that magic apple/hazelnut salad, duck fat fries, marrow, some fancy pasta with spinach and lamb, and the most perfect steak with roasted cauliflower.
And now I want to die but instead I will just lay on my couch and make horrible noises.)
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“Panic Shopper” - Restiform Bodies...
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Who has two thumbs and just picked up a second job...
This girl.
My interview consisted of: “Here’s what we need. How many hours a week can you work? Can you start ASAP? Awesome.”
My offer letter comes on Monday.
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Remember that one time that I was convinced that I...
Because it was now.
I’m an idiot.
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ferociousj replied to your post: I didn’t sweat my legs.
Even now, after living for over 30 years, I still learn about weird problems girls have that I had no idea existed.
I feel like this isn’t a problem for ALL girls, just girls who routinely need to make sure that very expensive, stiff leather boots will pull on to their legs, and will ensure this fact by sweating off water...
HOLY FUCK MY TALL BOOTS STILL FIT.
Just as big a pain in the ass as they ever were, but they still fit!
I didn't sweat my legs.
I have a riding lesson out in the suburbs in…oh, two and a half hours. I have a whole bunch of lessons backlogged at different barns around the suburbs because every time a barn offers a group on for lessons, I buy as many of them as I am allowed.
Anyhow, when I called to set this one up, they asked me how tall I was, how experienced I was, if I had jumped in the past (yes) and how high I had...
CLIMBING KEGS WHILE WEARING DRESSES SINCE 2011
